nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
