Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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