Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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