Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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