i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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