I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize