i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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