Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
