Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize