Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
