Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
