Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
