Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
