i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
