is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
