Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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