addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
