This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We are all done wearing pants today
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
