Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
