Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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