The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
