Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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