I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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