You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
