His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
