So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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