I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
