My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
