Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
