Duck Duck Cougar?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She's like a pop up book from hell.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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