Since when is my name a synonym for head?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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