She is in my trunk
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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