nut hugger
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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