How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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