when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
