if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
