Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
