I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
