Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
