mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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