we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
