idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
