I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
one two three fourrrrnication!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
