2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize