The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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