Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
