I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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