It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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