hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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