dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
