It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize