I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
