I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
