If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i think my cat just said my name.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize