Did you just see the Batmobile???
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
