Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize