hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
