He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
