I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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