Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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