I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
