he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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