dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize