yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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