erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
