there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
