i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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