Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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