still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
