and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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