He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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