I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize