Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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