My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize