you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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